Last week we explored how thoughts create stories about who you are in your body and ultimately, the world. 

When those thoughts generate a feeling, you automatically (and subconsciously) link the feeling to an event which then evokes an emotion. 

These emotions can further reinforce your story to being real and tangible because you feel the visceral effect.  However, it is important to know that your emotions DO NOT define the TRUTH.  The reverse can also be true. Your emotions can influence your thoughts.  

Therefore it is imperative to have a healthy relationship with your emotional body.   Your emotions are meant to be acknowledged, felt, and released.  They are meant to flow through you.  Emotions are energy in motion. 

Feelings and the emotions that go with them, just like absolutely everything else in life, are ENERGY. 

Energy, by its very nature, has to keep moving. 

Unfortunately, it has been learned, at a rather young age, to stuff feelings down deep. Until expressed, those feelings still live in your body.

Often these feelings get stuffed so deeply that you hardly know they exist. That is, unless you are paying attention (having awareness, being the witness). Whether you are aware of them or not, these feelings still have a profound impact on your life.  

They can undermine ALL of your relationships.  And not just with people.  It affects your relationship with the energy of want vs have.  Your relationship with money, with “love”, with success, and ultimately yourself. 

Your feelings DON'T keep you from being all that you can be and from getting what you want. 

Your avoidance of your feelings DOES.  

When you avoid your feelings they show up in distorted ways.  

These distortions can show up as unhealthy habits, unconscious behaviours and insecurities. We can equate these to survival skills... we learn to believe that they are protecting us from danger.That's your EGO talking... and your ego is always trying to keep you safe.

Those survival skills impede you from being whole, accomplishing your dreams, and having the healthy, intimate relationships you actually want.  

Feelings left unresolved in your body result in dis-ease -- mental, physical, and spiritual.  Depression and anxiety (mental dis-ease) can impact your day to day.  Illness and pain (physical dis-ease) in your body can be seen as our body's language for revealing underlying unresolved emotions. 

REMEMBER, emotions are energy in motion.  

Trying to hold them down takes a lot of energy.  Energy that could be better utilized to CREATE rather than DESTROY.  

No matter how negative an emotion (guilt, shame, anger, pride, grief, fear), it has powerful energy.  By learning how to feel effectively you can harness this energy for good and use it to propel you towards joy, freedom, and health. 

Learning to sit with your feelings frees you from the need to live in avoidance. 

When you allow the energy to move through you, you are no longer fearful.  The energy isn't sticking to you.You are better able to go with the flow of life.

 Use these worksheets (click on the word worksheets) to explore and understand aversions and attachments. We can often have an attachment for what we want to look a certain way or feel a certain way. We also have aversions to a version of the very thing that we want.

Write down all the ways you seek APPROVAL/ACCEPTANCE, CONTROL, SAFETY/SECURITY. PICK ONE TRIGGER TO WORK WITH:

Here are some examples: ATTACHMENT/AVERSION TO:

  • Body shame

  • Rigidity to get results (calories in/calories out -through food/exercise as only way to get body I want/deserve) - I will be respected for being rigid. I have to earn/work hard for results.

  • Getting Older as an excuse

  • Beauty/sexy/isn’t important. - remember sexy isn’t a noun - it’s a verb. (look back at what you wrote about what sexy means to you)

  • Disapproving of myself.

  • Figuring things out. (analysis paralysis)

  • Perfectionism.


Exercise: 

This is a similar process as to what we have been doing the last 3 weeks with a twist.

Take a moment to think about what is front of mind that is bothering you in your life right now.   

Bring yourself entirely to the experience of it.  Whether it was a conversation, situation, or experience.   Feel what emotion arises.  Anger, sadness, jealousy, resentment etc. 

Now find a place in your body that you feel that sensation.  Perhaps a burning in your stomach, a pain in your chest, a constriction in your forehead or solar plexus.  

Remember last week how we learned to become the observer of our thoughts.  Now is your time to become the witness from a perspective of loving awareness.  Notice that you the one that is feeling an emotion.  That emotion may be undesirable, it may be an emotion you do not want to feel or relate to.   

For example.  Angry... I don't get angry.  Only mean and violent people get angry.  Let go of the inner judgement and just observe.  

Now breathe...and bring your attention to your heart.  

Close your eyes.  Imagine it is a vibrating orb.  If you have a hard time imagining, not to worry or judge yourself. If this is not difficult you can add color.  Green is the color of the heart Chakra.  

 As it begins to expand it vibrates more and more...until you feel it pop and release.  You may envision this green flowing energy filling every aspect of your body with love vibration.  Filling your fingers and toes, your nose and ears.  Every aspect...every cell now bathing in this love vibration.     

This adds another Layer to your process and engages the vibration of love to do the work by simply being love. Love has it’s own vibration and has the ability to shake up the lower vibrations to disassemble them and create a new harmonic vibration within that space.  That vibration is acceptance, it is the vibration of safety and is the vibration that releases the need to control.  It is freedom.

Allow this energy of love to invite the areas in your body that feel constricted or tight.  

And Breathe

Keep bringing loving awareness to the constriction, the discomfort,  the emotion. 

Breathe...  keeping your focus on the love vibration.  

Keep breathing

Just focus on the love.

Feel love in every aspect within you.  

Bring your visual completely inside it with loving awareness.  Let that emotion know that it is okay to express. 

You are just there to listen, experience and receive the message.

The sensation of the orb might start to move somewhere else, it could stay in the same spot and start to dissipate. It may pop or vibrate and explode.  Regardless, stay with it until every last shred is gone.  If there is still any remnants of it go into it and got into it until you feel nothing.  This may take 5 minute, 20 minutes or 40 minutes.  Don't stop until it is completely dissolved. 

 Now bring your attention back to the area in your body where you felt the uncomfortable emotion.... notice if the original tightness or constriction has decreased or dissipated....

This can is very helpful tool to use in the moment when we feel emotion arise in the moment.   You can add this color visual or feeling an orb of vibrating love as part of the process as you visual your heart chipper simultaneously. Emanate this vibrating color as you move out the “wanting” vibrations of need for control, safety or acceptance.  The having of control, safety or acceptance is not a problem.  The energy “emotions” wrapped up in the “feeling” of not having is that which needs to be processed. 

Accepting ourselves allows for vulnerability to come through.  Knowing that we ALL trespass through these undesirable thoughts and emotions in life, and knowing we don’t need to LIVE there.  Having a process that you can access at anytime will help you to stop the pattern in it’s tracks and free you up to align with the having that is rightfully yours to claim in any moment.  You don’t need to deserve or earn it. It’s already yours.

 AND “What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful”

Vulnerability is a way of relating with our world and others from a place of relate-ability and authenticity.  When we pretend to have everything figured out,  showing and sharing only what we want others to see… we rob ourselves of the opportunity to experience true connection, compassion,  and support. 

Besides why hide from those who can’t see you and why hide from those who can!

Vulnerability is sexy because when we allow others to see all of who we truly are.  Nothing to hide = Free to be you.  Be you to be full

 

Sexy is exploring my emotions but not defining myself as them.

Erase the line.  Past trauma defines me now.

Here is the zoom video below: Click HERE for the Chart of Unflappability ( 9 core emotions and the Feelings, Thoughts and Actions that go with them). Use these as a tool for clearing.