9 Weeks to Sexy
Week 1 - Willingness
Willingness is the consciousness that allows us to act. We must be willing to observe that there is something that we desire. Desire forms a direction. Without desire there is no direction and so there is in effect no path. In truth of course there is always a path – just not necessarily the one we want to be experiencing.
Empowerment is always about experiencing positive opportunity in our lives. It may be the positive opportunity of finding pleasurable people in the world or it may be the positive opportunity of realizing growth, inner strength and nurturing through an emotion, feeling or thought. Positive opportunity exists at all levels and all dimensions of consciousness. It is willingness that opens up the way to experiencing these opportunities.
Generating willingness requires that we reflect with sincerity. All these questions allow us to see and reflect on the landscape upon which we have created our reality and ourselves.
If we have an inkling as to what it is that we seek in life, then how do we gain more perspective on that spark of inspiration? Willingness is not a matter of intensity, it is a matter of direction. All other aspects come from this.
The simplicity and ease of willingness is that we can form these directions right here and now and it requires no other action other than to acknowledge what it is that we do want. If we seek happiness then this acknowledgement gives us the opportunity to seek how to become happy. If we seek healing then this acknowledgement gives us the opportunity to seek how to become healed. Each step leads to a further depth of willingness, each step prepares us for a further experience of willingness. These small acknowledgements are like the seeds of a tree, they are moved through our minds by intention and direction and within the embrace of our willingness they gain the opportunity to grow strong.
Willingness needs to be nurtured regularly in order to realize a strong direction, but it is not something that requires iron-gloved discipline. On the contrary learning to communicate with the consciousness that is willingness allows us to develop it in such a way that it’s power becomes effortless effort. Developing this stream of mind opens up the way for realizing self-mastery that just “happens” rather than the kind that needs to be forced. The kind of empowerment, enlightenment, inner strength and focus that comes from this is also different from the kind that needs to be forcefully controlled. Instead of developing them we are flowing into a slipstream where they already exist and communicating our intent through them. When we are in this state we simply need to “be” and in being we act and create effortlessly because our essence is in congruency with the consciousness of power.
~The Path of Power
Willingness develops Intrinsic Resilience
Willingness breeds success. When you are willing then you are generating the energy necessary to create your life…not be in reaction to or a victim of it.
Willingness take courage to step into the unknown. Fear can infect our present moment with paralyses and our future with doubt. Fear can show up as fear of failure, fear of judgement, fear of not being in control (even if it’a a false sense of control), fear of truth (aka cognitive dissonance -the unpleasant tension state)- seek to preserve current belief by convincing ourselves that no conflict exists) .
And those fears can also be connected to success. Who will I be if I actually succeed at xyz. (ie: career, achieve the body I want, soulful relationship).
This can look like:
Worrying about leaving people behind if you move forward because of your success
Feeling anxious about acquiring new responsibilities as the result of your success
Being worried that things will just get more complicated than what you can handle
Fearing comments from naysayers or worrying about experiencing other social problems1
Sometimes we are aware of some of these worries, but many may lack insight into the true causes of our behaviours, which can show up as self-sabotage, procrastination, avoidance, perfectionism, quitting and self-destruction to name a few.
The fear of success can have a serious negative impact. Some of the ways that it might hold you back from getting what you want in life include:
Lower life satisfaction: left to wonder. What if….
Difficulty pursuing goals: a fear of achievement correlates with difficulties initiating and maintaining behaviours. Because these first steps toward a goal are so difficult, people who fear success may struggle to get started. Or have the lack of motivation to complete them.
Reduced self-esteem: While achievement is normally associated with strong self-esteem, this may not be the case with a fear being successful. This may be particularly true when experiencing imposter syndrome because the achievement isn’t attributed to their skill, knowledge, or hard work.
Low expectations: fear of success tend to adopt low career goals compared to their abilities.
The future will take care of itself, however we can align with the flow of grace and power of perspective to shift the lens thus the experiences in our lives. There is nothing to do other than let go of disempowering thoughts and emotions, to enjoy the wonderment of the present moment. Considering this, give some thought to activities you could devote more attention to that nourishes your soul. What habits would you like to reduce or eliminate altogether?
Discipline VS Devotion. Creating Action from Force to the Action from Alignment. See Video on Devotion vs. Discipline.
Freedom From VS Freedom To
Are you aligning your motivation with the experience of Freedom from, or Freedom Too.
Three Stages of Growth:
Living through unconscious patterns (denial or resistance)
Freedom From (pain, ego, and spirit are out of balance)
Freedom To (truly and deeply “authoring” our lives)
Unconscious Patterns
Partly because we lack a rite-of-passage we begin our adult journey with all the patterns and coping mechanisms we receive from childhood, unique to each childhood situation. These habituated ways of being could include being good, should and shouldn’t, withdrawal, drive, shame, pain, ego, giving self away, control, masks, and on and on. In this initial situation we may have brief glimpses of freedom or sense the possibility of freedom but the patterns just keep crashing in and returning us to an essentially shackled state. Some people are bound by responsibility, should, shouldn’t, and the expectations of others. These unconscious patterns make us into puppets, as long as we are running them, we are at their mercy; we are asleep at the wheel.For many people there is a crisis, a door opening to a new possibility. It may be divorce or an affair; for some a death of someone pivotal, like a parent. This can trigger seeking.
Freedom From….
Waking up brings us to the beginning of the second stage, Freedom From….
In the Freedom from stage we start letting go of everything that is not us, beginning with emotional pain, we take ourselves back, we shed patterns and coping mechanisms; in this stage we may change friends, relationships, jobs, or possessions. As we go deeper into this stage we discover and shed our identity and soften up on our ego, we become more fluid, flexible and spontaneous. As we shed our identity and ego we have less to protect, intimacy becomes easier and our relationships deeper. There are many struggles but at this point it keeps getting easier. In the last stages of this process of shedding we discover our neediness and all of the ways we try to extract what we “need” from life. Slowly we become aware of how little we really need, life becomes more abundant and beautiful, we are more connected, serene and at ease. Throughout the second stage being connected, serene and at ease seem to be the goal, the logical end point of Freedom From. At some point you may feel a little flat, like “There must be something more.”
Freedom To….
Freedom From ends in expansive acceptance, something that overlaps with and carries into Freedom To….
Freedom To…. is the phase where we begin to see our life as a work of art. Into that expansive space we begin to express ourselves, our passions. In many ways this is the hardest stage of all; to create, we have to be able and willing to step forward with our fears, risking what we hold most dear, risking rejection and humiliation.Many spiritual traditions stop at expansive acceptance, melding into the void or god, transcendence. For me I believe that we are here for a reason, or perhaps more accurately, we have an opportunity to express our unique selves, our unique representation, some might say express god through us.We can stop at transcendence and stay in that place of peace and Freedom From…., or we can take the next step, perhaps with the support of others to express our unique nature in some way. We all have an Inner-Knowing, something to say, to paint, to touch, to dance, to build, to create, to love, to enhance, to serve, to enjoy. We can access this passion through our emotions. This takes the greatest courage of all.We are not ready until we are awake and have come most of the way through Freedom From…. Once we are ready and using the tools learned in Freedom From…. we can begin to build the exhilarating and challenging context to give us Freedom To….
We will dive deeper into this on our Live call.
In the meantime HERE IS YOUR WILLINGNESS SCORE CARD AND the 4 QUESTIONS ON WILLINGNESS. Please spend some time before our live session to print this and fill it out. (click on both links for page 1 and 2)
Watch video below on how to do the process!
When filling out the scorecard think about the score in relationship to 9 Weeks to Sexy. For example, In taking 9 Weeks To Sexy, How willing am I to fail/feel/face/focus/forgive. Then write down your thoughts that arise around what you are Willing to Face/Forgive/Let Go/Embrace. (or not willing to - write those down too)
What is arising around how you feel about the thoughts/feelings in your willingness (or lack of in some areas). How do these beliefs connect with your relationship to the unknown. Write down all that comes to mind. (ie: I haven’t been able to xyz yet, what makes me think I can now, People I love may not accept me if I xyz, I am selfish to think that being sexy is important in the midst of such upheaval in the world.)
Reflect on what you have written down each day and see if any feelings or thoughts increase/decease or if you have new ones. Pick 1 belief that is strongest (brings the most charge) for you that day.
Then:
Identify where you feel it in your body.
Describe your physical experience of it. (ie: burning, numbness, heavy, shooting, stabbing, icy, throbbing, tight, tingling)
Rate the discomfort from a scale of 1-10. Take 3 Deep Slow Breaths into that spot.
Rate it again.
Repeat
Rate again. If you can get the # down to a 3 or less, then put that belief through the chipper. Imagine your heart is a big chipper (taking that which we are struggling with and putting it through the love chipper.). Take those chips from the belief chipper and place them into your womb space as you say out loud (and plant this seed into your womb space. This seed is "Sexy is being willing to step into the unknown.
Broken Mirror Exercise:
Please see top video for explanation, purpose and How to Use
The Broken Mirror Exercise represents the reflection of your perspective and outside influences, and signifies the lens through which you see yourself.
I will have you draw a several cracks in the mirror with an expression as to what each crack represents.
Each crack in the mirror creates distortions of how you see yourself and represents the influence that creates fragmentation.
Fragmentation create an “I am broken” belief.
Often these underlying feelings and emotions cloud your perspective and ultimately how you see yourself.
Once you understand that your perception of yourself is broken, you will begin to see and feel how beautiful and sexy you actually are.
Materials:
Mirror: Bathroom mirror, wall mirror or hand held mirror.
Dry Erase Pen, or Glass Pen or an old lipstick.
Instructions:
If you are using a mirror that doesn't have a frame draw one.
Draw 7 lines across within the frame or drawn frame.
On or under each line write out these following statements.
1) I resist the unknown.
2) I am undeserving.
3) I think I am unattractive, therefore I am.
4) Past Trauma defines me now.
5) I am Insignificant.
6) I am not enough.
7) Others see me as weak and broken… or I am misunderstood. (whichever resonates more with you)
Once you have your cracks drawn on your mirror. Spend some time everyday looking through this mirror and write down any and all thoughts you have.
For now just notice what is coming up for you.
Write down all of your thoughts/feelings. Especially the ones that say:“This is stupid.”“Why am I doing this?”
These are the very thoughts that we are going to transform over the next 9 weeks.
Let go of perfection…. You are not broken.