9 Weeks to Sexy
Week 2 - Worthiness
Last week we talked about Willingness.
How empowered do you feel knowing that your choice to be Willing is already a HUGE step in your transformation?
It may feel a bit scary too. When you start to make empowered choice, you now know that only YOU can create the shifts in your life to finally LIVE the life you have always wanted... to live fully in the body you have all while FEELING at home in it.
Kudos to you!
This week we are going to talk about Worthiness.
We have all had experiences that we wish we didn't have to endure in early childhood, teen years, or throughout our adult life. The varying degree of pain it brought can affect the way you currently see yourself and the lens through which you view your life.
It’s those experiences from long ago – especially the “negative” ones that create root beliefs about your worthiness.
These experiences can stick and keep you stuck, holding you back from what you truly desire in life.
Much of what we truly "want" in life can show up in two ways.
1) That which you want and have. It appears seemingly easy (especially in the areas of life that we feel aligned or deserving of. (aka worthy)
2) That which you want and don’t have, and seem to either feel far from ever getting or the feeling that you have it for a while and it slips through your fingers. For example if you experience the coming and going of money, relationship, weight loss and gain. This often comes from the subconscious belief of lack. And we tie a meaning to that lack, which we will go through in the Cutting the cord Exercise.
Exercise:
Now let’s go back and look at your list of what sexy means and that which you want to embody in that list. This time also write a list of qualities that you already feel that you embody as sexy.
Now look at the “having” qualities on that list. (that which you embody). Do you feel you have to earn or be worthy of feeling that way? No, probably not. Even if at one point you didn’t feel that way, you do now and likely don’t have to convince yourself that you are or are not that quality you described.
Then look at the list of sexy that you “want” to embody, but don’t feel that you do for whatever reason.
Then notice that to want something means you feel you don't have it.
And notice that you may feel energy in your body around what you feel about not having it. (ie: frustrated, undeserving, fear of having it (ie: extra attention or fear of losing it) And yes I get that some of these descriptions of sexy may be tied to your physical experience. (ie: a specific attitude, level of confidence, weight, shape, leanness). Regardless be aware of the feeling you have around having or not having “it”.
Use this link to access the worksheet.
We will explore this further in the cutting cord exercise below.
Now, look at your list on the worksheet and also the exercises from last week around willingness. Find the statements that are most charged and the beliefs you have about why you don't already have either the definition of sexy you want to embody and/or the beliefs you explored that challenge your willingness to "have" them.
For example: Because I struggle with maintain or achieving my desired weight, I can't feel sexy in a bathing suit. Or because I struggle with my willingness to face how I feel about myself naked I won't be able to love my body.
The Cutting The Cord Exercise is created to break the tie to the negative past experience that keeps you stuck in a negative belief or pattern.
Perceived negative experiences can create a subconscious energetic tie to your self worth.
When you give meaning to a negative past experience, as some how being who you are, you imprint every experience that is similar or that evokes a similar emotion with the same belief.
For example, that belief may be:
Because I was bullied as a child, I deserve abuse.
The "because" (or EGO) looks for a reason or cause as to why it happened. Your subconscious mind will give that experience a “because” and tie it directly to your worthiness. However, this is a false belief that you can Cut The Cord to so that it will no longer control your life and leave you feeling stuck.
I was bullied because I was fill in the blank -- (awkward, nerdy, fat, skinny, tall, short, etc)
The false belief tells you that feeling xyz or being told xyz is true because others feel that and even more so because you feel it (the charge in your body) therefore it must be true ...
" Because I Am XYZ" in the above example “Because I am Bullied”
“...means that I am fill in the blank -- (a loser, deserve less than those who don't feel, awkward, nerdy, fat, skinny, etc.)
So, what happens, is you create an emotional tie to being or feeling XYZ , and then equate that with "I deserve to be abused".
So, how do you get in front of Emotional Ties and start Cutting The Cord?
You need to first RECOGNIZE when you are experiencing an emotional tie. Then, CHANGE the language you are using in your self talk.
You do this by simply changing the wording from DOES to DOESN'T.
Here are some examples of CUTTING THE CORD by changing your self talk language:
Just because I endured bullying growing up doesn’t mean that I deserve abuse.
Just because I wasn't athletic as a child doesn't mean that I am destined to be awkward and uncoordinated.
Just because I grew-up with an addicted parent doesn’t mean that I need to be a caretaker to everyone in my life.
Just because I was teased for being "different" when I was young doesn't mean that I have to conform to be accepted.
Just because I was sexually abused doesn't mean I have to give my body away.
In addition, each time you notice a limiting/false belief pattern, say it out loud, then imagine Cutting The Cord to the old belief. Literally, in your minds eye, take a pair of gold scissors and imagine Cutting The Cord to the negative experience.
Pause in this space until you begin to FEEL the freedom.
So let’s revisit the process from last week. Here is a video of the process and the written steps below. Note: I didn’t add the step of visually cutting the cord before putting in the wood chipper, as you can choose to cut the cord and heart chipper or just the heart chipper. Your choice.
Choose a belief (subconscious (that you’ve uncovered) or conscious) that has a charge.
What is the intensity of the feeling you have about that belief. (1-10)
Where do you feel it in your body and give it a name. (I feel tightness in my chest).
Reflect on the first time you felt this way and the situation. ie: I don’t have any fashion sense or trust my fashion sense. Reflect on the first time you felt that way. I wore something to school that I loved and got laughed at by my friends. Put together your statement. Just because I have a unique sense of style, it doesn’t mean I can’t rock it and make it work for me!
Bring your awareness to your chest or belly. (get out of your head space -perhaps look down)
Take 3 deep breaths.
Give words to your charged belief. “I don’t trust my sense of style.” you can give it a description of how it makes you feel. (ie: inadequate, overwhelmed, anxious, annoyed, critical)
Cut the cord with your inner golden scissors.
Check to see if the charge is below a 3. If not continue the process above, if so go to step 10.
Put the old belief through the heart chipper. Put the chips in your womb space.
Now say your new statement. Just because I have a unique sense of style, it doesn’t mean I can’t rock it and make it work for me! Place that seed of intent in your womb space.
Each day place your attention on your womb space (ie: put hands on your womb) as you say your statement Just because I have a unique sense of style, it doesn’t mean I can’t rock it and make it work for me!
Each day notice how you feel about the charged belief. If it is below a 3, work on another belief and start the process over.
At the end of the week, reflect on the beliefs you chipped to see if they are still below a 3. Note: situations may come up to trigger the belief. Notice where it comes from, and do this process above. (once you know the process well, this is where you can use the fun glasses (ie: new perspective -that is charged with the process) to help shift more quickly. And eventually you may have imaginary ones that you can put on in real time (at time of trigger)
See how this works?
You can even use it in your present circumstances as well:
Just because it feels more comfortable to be numb in my body now, it doesn't mean that I don't deserve to feel connected and vital in my body.
Just because I am feeling disconnected and unhealthy in my body now, it doesn't mean that I can't take the steps now to engage in healthy ways.
Just because I don't have gobs of money right now, it doesn’t mean that I am not worthy of abundance.
Just because I am not experiencing all that i desire in every area of my life that doesn’t mean that those desires won’t manifest.
Just because I am not in a relationship now it doesn't mean that I am not sexy and desirable.
Got it? If not reach out and I’m happy to go through one of your beliefs with you.
This exercise is powerful for many reasons – but most importantly, it demonstrates to you that your worthiness isn’t a reflection of your past or current circumstances.
When ready to work on the crack for this week:
Past experiences define me now.
Go through the process above and plant the statement below in your womb space.
Sexy is knowing worthiness is your birthright.
Modelling unconditional worthiness is a way you show that breaking the cycle is possible for others and also leave a legacy for the next generation.
As you release the search for conditional worth and you embrace your birthright of unconditional worth, you naturally realign with a higher frequency of worthiness; a knowing grows inside you that shows you that we are all intrinsically perfect and worthy beings.
We experience things in life so we can gain CLARITY of what we actually WANT to experience not for a place of lack but rather a place of worthiness… Of havingness. You already HAVE it in you...you now just keep your mind out of the lack of having it (your thoughts) and aligning your actions with what you would do if you already have it.
We will dive into this more next week as we explore the Mental Body.
Being on this journey called life we will bump up against situations that show us where we are in our inner world. This is not the time to take the opportunity to beat ourselves up, but rather take stock of our perceptions and lenses through which we see ourselves. Then offer up the grace we would give others to ourselves, and take action in shifting the perspective.
It's about contrast and clarity – not worth.
Below is the Live Zoom from March.16th.